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The end of the year is upon us again. And with it comes the usual “what have I achieved this year” anxieties. I think the below Reductress post sums up how I feel 80% of the time quite nicely.
Living in LA, I often get asked “what are you working on” or “what’s up next for you,” and not having an exciting answer feels like a failure. I am not — and you are not — a failure for not having some big shiny exciting THING we are working on. But it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking I don’t do enough. I tell myself I should’ve made more videos; I could’ve grown my followers more; I should’ve written more; Maybe if I’d done this one thing differently in that audition, I would have booked that part…and on and on.
I identify with this Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail moment ALL THE TIME.
And work-wise, it wasn’t my favorite year. But that does not mean this year wasn’t still meaningful. Let’s focus on the good really quickly, shall we?
Firstly, I started this newsletter this year! And you read it! That’s so cool! Thank you endlessly for that.
Also, I quit a job I absolutely hated. And that in itself was a huge win.
Then of course, the SAG and WGA strikes. Overall, bad to have an entire industry out of work so long. But really empowering to be on the front lines of a labor movement! Even though the contract we got wasn’t what I hoped for. A very formative experience to show up with my union walking the picket line.
And strike aside, a work highlight this year was getting to dub the lead in season two of Netflix’s Turkish crime thriller, As The Crow Flies (which is now streaming on Netflix!!) I worked on season one the previous year as well if you still need to catch up. Could be a fun over the holidays binge, just saying…
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I auditioned for lots of great parts and got really, really close to a few. Which never feels like as much of a win as it should, but the odds are so stacked against us as actors, getting close is actually such a big deal. It’s something I’m proud of. I won’t let myself not be proud of it. Maybe if I say that enough times I’ll really believe it.
I played dress up at silly parties in LA. Don’t let the glam of it fool you; these events are only as fun as the people you are there with. Thankfully, I have some absolutely A+ people in my life that make them fun just about every time.
I started a book club with lots of friends and I’ve been cooking more and I watched new movies and binged good tv and danced and sang and listened to 10,000+ minutes of Taylor Swift (I know…) and sipped lots of coffee that I almost never finished (it’s a whole thing) and I started volunteering at my library and as a reading partner at a local elementary school and I spent so much quality time with family and friends and finally after years of dating hell met someone completely wonderful (thanks, bumble!) These are things that made my year full and meaningful.
Oh gosh, now I’m crying. Can I blame it on being a cancer? Mercury IS in retrograde. It’s often hard for me not to feel like the losses overshadow all the wins. But there were so many wins. I know your year must have been full of them, too. If you don’t see them now, you just might have to look a little closer. They’re there. I promise. And next year can be whatever you want it to be. “Next year” can even start right now. I won’t tell if you don’t.
Thanks for this year, Samantha. And thanks for your solidarity with your fellow artists and scribes. Best wishes
And don’t forget how you helped people like me through the year with your posts and pics! Love you! Happy 2024!